ADHD and Marriage
by C. Markus
ADHD is usually associated with children; it wasn’t until recently that focus has been brought to adults who suffer from ADHD. Symptoms of adult ADHD can include lack of focus, difficulty completing tasks, poor listening skills, and overlooking details. Many adults go through life with ADHD and never get diagnosed; these adults must face many of the same troubles as children. However, they must deal with different pressures. One of these new pressures is ADHD and its effect on a marriage. This may sound strange to some, but ADHD could be the root cause of many martial problems.
The symptoms of ADHD in a marriage may be interpreted as laziness or a lack of caring, when in reality the significant other is trying his/her best. If your spouse tells you to do the dishes or take out the trash and you constantly forget, you can almost guarantee it would lead to marital conflict. It is important to understand the symptoms of your spouse and act accordingly. Just because your significant other loses track of time or forgets clothes on the floor doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t respect you – he or she may just may be too distracted to pay attention to the “little things”.
Symptoms of an ‘ADHD marriage’ can include:
- Treating each other like parent and child (for example, inappropriate reprimanding your spouse
- Having children diagnosed with ADHD
- Difficulty for you or your partner to follow a conversation
- Constantly fighting over chores or daily routines
While these factors may seem insignificant or common, they can build up and ultimately destroy a marriage. Luckily there are steps you can take to make life with an ADHD partner easier.
- Use daily notes – start using notes or dry erase board to list all the daily chores; this will assure tasks are not forgotten.
- Make sure the ADHD partner understands your requests – speak slowly and clearly, and don’t be afraid to repeat yourself more than once.
- Get into a routine – It may be difficult, but once a routine is set, it will be much easier for the ADHD partner to follow daily duties.
- Take it one step at a time – approach each issue individually, as it can be overwhelming if you try to solve every problem at once.
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