Bored in the bedroom? 6 ways to rev
up your love life
Source: Eva Marer :Health.com
Surprise!
Even celebrities don't have the kind of hot
movie sex that seems to set our standard for passion these days.
In real life, "there is no normal
barometer for sexual activity," says Dr. Jan Shifren, an assistant
professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive biology at Harvard
Medical School in Boston. "It's only when you feel distressed about it
that you have a problem."
If your sex life is troubling you, the
following solutions could help.
Get your z's
Snoring away and having passionate sex may
seem like exact opposites, but experts insist that getting enough sleep is the
number-one aphrodisiac. "It's important to feel rested, even if that means
changing your schedule to include intimacy and fun at other times of the
day," says Suki Hanfling, a certified sex therapist and the founder and
director of the Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy in Belmont, Mass.
Exercise
A good workout pumps up dopamine and,
through a domino effect, may boost levels of testosterone, a hormone that can
enhance libido, says Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and
author of the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.
Hitting the gym can also make you feel
sexier and more confident in bed, adds Sallie Foley, a senior clinical social
worker in the Sexual Health Counseling Services at the University of Michigan
Medical Center in Ann Arbor, as well as co-author of the book Sex Matters for Women: A
Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self.
Go shopping
Spend a little "mad" money on
yourself, recommends Leiblum, who is also the author of Getting the Sex You Want: A
Woman's Guide to Becoming Pleased, Proud, and Passionate in Bed.
"Take the time to discover what turns you on, from silky-smooth satin
pajamas to a Victorian bustier," she says.
See your doctor
She can help determine the origin of your
problem. If you're experiencing pain during intercourse, for instance, this
could indicate a medical condition or a drop in estrogen levels, which
naturally decline with aging, Shifren says. Your doctor may also recommend a
qualified relationship counselor or sex therapist for you to talk to.
Check your medicine cabinet
Common antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil
may lift your mood, but they can kill your sex drive. Certain prescription
painkillers, anti-anxiety medications, and even laxatives can also zap your
libido.
Someday, that will change, says Dr. Sandra
Leiblum, a professor of psychiatry and obstetrics and gynecology and the
director of the Center for Sexual and Relationship Health at the Robert Wood
Johnson Medical School, in New Jersey. Leiblum predicts that in the next decade
we will have "clean drugs" that don't interfere with one's sex drive.
Until then, take heart: Even if your doctor
recommends that you continue your current medication, you can still enjoy sex.
You'll just need more time and stimulation to become aroused and achieve
orgasm, Hanfling says.
Take your time
You've heard it before, but it's worth
saying again: Be patient with your partner and yourself as you work to make
things better. "Sex is like cooking," Hanfling says. "The end
result can be delicious, but it's important to savor the steps along the
way."
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